Truths and Creations

Once we realize that we are not the MINORITY but the MAJORITY, we will understand the power we hold. I’m just saying…

So pondering I was, when an epiphany struck by. Being a gay male it was hard to see myself away from the stereotypical homosexual male. I’ve noticed that my thoughts and ideas concerning men were highly sexual as much as I’ve said otherwise… One can watch television and expect what the media will portray a gay man. I long to see a show or movie were there is a dominant masculine and OPEN gay male role rather than your expected flamboyant, feminine and, for the lack of a better word, fashion obsessed supporting actor. I mean sure…being seen and accepted In any light is a triumph ESPECIALLY if your of African or Latino descent. However, there are more faces to who we are. We aren’t just the twinks, fag-hags or the fashion designers, we are the firemen, the carpenters, plumbers, lawyers, doctors, taxi drivers, the politicians. Our flag represents the unity of every gay and lesbian regardless of the life we live. We are vibrant and every shade of red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet should be represented.

I’ve also noticed how obscenely obsessed I was about my supposed attractiveness. Socially speaking, gay men are surrounded by sex. Clubs and nightlife filled with strippers with chiseled bodies expect us to look this way to feel desired. Porn throws men with big dicks and manly voices as something we strive for while we are unaware of the fantasy it portrays. The idea of being PERFECT surges through our minds like electric energy, shocking us away from the truth behind our eyes. I mean here I was actually asking my friends If I was good looking when in fact, their opinions were not needed. What mattered was what I thought about MYSELF. I even down myself because I had so called “dancer feet” and carried marks and bruises when it simply just comes with the territory. It was like I was begging for a certain validation to know whether I was someone who can pass off as a delicious delicacy.

Of course, I never really had a solid boyfriend. 21 and yet to find a soul to share myself with. You would think since my coming out at 16 I would find someone who would want to feed my mind with wisdom and wonder. Instead I found sex buddies, men to sleep with so I wouldn’t be alone. No one wanted to be committed if not ever. There was always someone better out there. Someone who was sexier or prettier. Someone with a bigger dick or a wetter ass. Why settle? Gay men are so easy to have, why fight for one when you can have them all? At least that was what i thought…

As the comprehensive thoughts fell into my hands that very moment, that very instant, that very second the answer hit me like a toppling wall. “I can think otherwise”. I decided to leave those thoughts of insecurities in the garbage. I am perfect regardless of look, height, size, occupation, ethnicity, color and everything else that allows me to second guess myself. I am beautiful, talented, eccentric, eclectic, proud, humble, and powerful. I will not let myself be caught up in the hype.

And you shouldn’t either…